Monty Python: Man who speaks only…

Interviewer Well… lets move on to our guest who not only lives in Essex but also speaks only the ends of words. Mr Ohn Ith. Mr Ith, good evening.

Enter from back of set as per Eamonn Andrews show Mr Ohn Ith. He sits at the desk
Mr Ith … ood … ing.

Interviewer Nice to have you on the show.
Mr Ith … ice … o … e … ere.

Interviewer Mr Ith, don’t you find it very difficult to make yourself understood?
Mr Ith Yes, it is extremely difficult.

Interviewer Just a minute, you’re a fraud
Mr Ith Oh no. I can speak the third and fourth sentences perfectly normally.

Interviewer Oh I see. So your next sentence will be only the ends of words again?
Mr Ith T’s… ight.

Interviewer Well, let’s move on to our next guest who speaks only the beginnings of words, Mr J … Sm… Mr Sm… good evening.

Enter Mr Sm. Mr Sm G… e…

Interviewer Well, have you two met before?
Mr Sm N…
Mr Ith … o
Mr Sm N…
Mr Ith … o

Interviewer Well, this is really a fascinating occasion because we have in the studio Mr … oh … I … who speaks only the middles of words. Good evening.

Enter Scot. Scot …. oo …… ni…

Interviewer Um, where do you come from?
Scot . .. u… i… a…

Interviewer Dunfermline in Scotland. Well let me introduce you, Mr Ohn Ith…
Mr Ith … ood … ing.
Scot … oo …… ni…

Interviewer J… Sm…
Scot … oo …… ni…
Mr Sm G… Eve…

Interviewer Yes, well, ha, ha, just a moment. Perhaps you would all like to say good evening together.
Mr Sm G…
Scot . .. oo…
Mr Ith … d
Mr Sm Eve…
Scot … ni…
Mr Ith … ing.